If you think you lost everything, you didn't. You just had the wrong mindset.

If you think you lost everything, you didn’t. You just had the wrong mindset.

I thought I lost everything… but then I realized, I just had the wrong mindset.

2016 wasn’t really a very good year for me. I had fights with my mom almost every week, my parents would also fight very often that it became my new normal, I had a tough time looking for a job I like and when I did, they kept me for 3 months and decided I could either stay but with no salary, or leave. I chose to leave, because even if it was close to my dream career, I believe every employee is entitled to his/ her monthly salary no matter what the circumstances. I was told I shouldn’t wear bikini because I have so much cellulite and it’s ugly. I failed my parking exam 3 times, failed my assessment test once, and had to pay a hefty AED 15,000 before I finally got my driver’s license. My parent’s aren’t rich, and I wasn’t earning anything at that time, so trying to get my license have been really stressful that it came to a point where I had to secretly sell my books just so I’d have some sort of money to share. I also ended things with someone I dated for more than a year, after being cheated on for another girl 6 times in a row.

Unlike 2015, last year was when I thought the universe hated me so much it’s only mission was to see me fall.

And I did. I gave up trying, I was in a constant turmoil of emotions, and I was a total mess. I lost the person I was.

I quit singing, I stopped writing, and I let my platform rot into silence. I lost my passion, and most of all, I wasn’t anyone’s ray of sunshine anymore. I became a dark cloud looming over everyone, threatening to burst any second.

But this year is different.

I’m slowly picking myself back up and regaining what I’ve lost. Sure, there are still lots of downs, but it doesn’t knock me down that hard anymore. I know this year, I’m a lot stronger, bolder, and braver.

I know that was a long ass intro, but I wanted you to understand that I’m not writing for the sake of content. I’m writing this because I want to reach out to you, and to let you know you’re not alone. Just like everybody else, you’re fighting physical, emotional, and mental battles. And like everybody else, you need someone. I’m here to help.

Picking myself back up isn’t easy, but it’s doable. Here are things that helped me regain my drive, and grow towards becoming a better version of myself everyday. I hope it helps you too –

Surround yourself with the right people

Quality is always better than quantity. Surround yourself with likeminded, and strong-willed individuals, who you can learn from, lean on, and trust. These people will constantly push you to become better and better each day, who’ll cut the crap on BS and tell you not what you want to hear but what you need to hear, and be genuinely happy to see you succeed. They won’t talk behind your back, or on anyone’s back, and they sure won’t step on you.

Constantly educate yourself

Life is a constant wheel of learning process. There’s so many new things popping out every day, and it’s important to keep yourself updated and educated. With so much content online, it gets hard to filter out which ones are valuable from the ones that aren’t sometimes. It’s important to stay mindful of what you read, what you watch, and what you listen to.

Here are some that I love and follow – TED Radio Hour’s Podcasts, TED Talks, Marie Forleo, Trisha Velarmino’s blog – P.S. I’m On My Way, Nainoa Langer from Beautiful Destinations, and Sophia Chang!

Know that it’s okay to be unproductive at times

Yes, I know. I know. It’s important to always work on achieving your goals. But unplugging, and taking time out to play, is equally important too! Like what Marie has said, “Play helps us improve brain functionality, stimulate our imagination and deepen our relationships.”

Through recreation, we are able to create again, refresh, and restore our minds from the daily stress and rewire it to be even more creative.

Write it down (or if you hate writing, record a voice note of yourself)

Take a few minutes every evening, to list down everything you’re grateful for that day. And if you didn’t have a great day, it’s alright, write/ voice it out too! Let out whatever bothered you that day, and then follow it up with, “what has this situation taught me?”

This practice helps you to subconsciously train your mind to look for something positive in every situation.

Remember, no matter how clichè it sounds, everything happens for a reason. Only you hold the key to either see the situation negatively, or positively.

Here’s a tweetable!

 

“Focus on the solution, not on the problem” – @passportbites

 

You see, I’ve been focusing on the wrong things for such a long time that I didn’t realize how blessed I still was last year.

  • I got my Driver’s License at the age of 19 – it was tough, but hey I got it!
  • I was still able to travel, thanks to my parents. Last year, I went to Oman, Maldives, and Sri Lanka.
  • Even if I chose to leave the job I thought would eventually be my career, I was still blessed enough to land a position for Above Digital. At the age of 19, I’m already earning and paying for my own expenses. I’m still working for AD, and soooo grateful for it. Finding a job here ain’t easy yo!

Life wasn’t so bad after all! It’s just how we frame our mind to look at the positive aspects, and learn from the negative ones.

 

“In making your decisions, keep in mind that even when the odds are against you, you might still win. Life is a gamble, and ultimately you have to decide for yourself.” – The Achievement Habit by: Bernard Roth

 

There will always be circumstances in life that’ll bring us down. There will always be people who’ll demotivate us. But no matter what happens, you hold the steering wheel not them. It’s your decision who to listen to, and how to act upon it.

Believe that you can achieve so much more, don’t stop trying. It’s okay to fail, that’s part of the learning process. The most important thing is to always get back up, and to fight even harder.

I strongly believe in the power of having a solid support group. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Often times, we see it as “weakness”. But it’s not.

Talk to someone you trust, and who’s opinion you value.

If you’d like to talk to me about it, don’t hesitate to reach out. I always respond to emails and DMs. I will listen to you, and I’d love to help you out.

Feel free to ping me on my email, Instagram, Facebook Page, or on my personal Facebook profile.

And if you’re stuck trying to chase success, watch this amazing video by Gabriel Conte.

Cheer up hon. You’re so much stronger than you think you are 💚

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2 thoughts on “If you think you lost everything, you didn’t. You just had the wrong mindset.

  1. stephanie says:

    You are so much wiser than your years. I’m impressed! The older you become, the more you realize EVERYONE has their struggles, especially people who seem to HAVE IT ALL. I am constantly surprised to learn the people who I thought had it easy had great strife and obstacles. You’re so right, it’s all in your frame of mind. Onwards and upwards is the only way. Best of luck to you.

    Like

    • passportbites says:

      Hi Stephanie! Really appreciate you taking the time out and leaving a comment. I appreciate it sooo much! I also know a lot of people who I thought had an easy going life until they shared their stories to me. The thing is, a lot of people don’t really like vocalizing things that stress them out or pull them down. But it’s also important to always keep in mind that each and every one of us is battling something, one way or the other. And the only way to get through it is through how we choose to react. Again, thank you so much Stephanie! Wishing you all the best too 💚

      Like

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